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Laughing in the Fight for the Freedom to Marry
By Nicholas Snow
Source: NotesFromHollywood.com

The buzz is on! “In celebration of Freedom to Marry Week, the first out lesbian or gay comic is returning to the stage for three performances only. Robin Tyler’s one-woman show, Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Groom, is being updated by the celebrated comedienne and activist—the show was performed initially back-to-back, off, off Broadway with Torch Song Trilogy. “Both shows received terrific reviews, but the critics said that my show, based on wanting to marry a same-sex partner, was too unrealistic, even for comedy,” Robin explained during our exclusive interview.

The updated version has a second act, and the show is being described as “a hilarious multimedia romp through LGBT history, including the Marriage Equality movement. From Marches on Washington, to not-so pretty breakups with ex-lovers, Robin’s show exposes three decades of lesbian and gay history through comedy, and at times, tragedy, leading up to Robin and her fiancé, Diane Olson’s upcoming historic California Supreme Court marriage case.”

Regarding the California Supreme Court case, Robin explained, “On Feb. 10, 2004, my union—AFTRA (American Federation of Television and Radio Artists) told me in a telephone conversation, that although domestic medical benefits were offered to same-sex domestic partners while one was still working, after retirement, this benefit would cease, even if the union member was ‘vested’ or qualified. I asked why, and the union woman employee said, ‘because you’re not married. That’s Just the way it is hon.’”

“I was shocked,” expressed Robin. “I was a vested member of AFTRA, which has a huge, gay membership, and yet the woman said the only reason not to extend a major pension benefit was, ‘that’s just the way it is hon.’ Diane had been going to the Beverly Hills Courthouse on ‘Freedom to Marry Day’ for several years. That is when gay and lesbian couples apply for licenses and are turned down. So, I called my friend, Gloria Allred, a civil rights attorney here in Los Angeles and told her what happened. I asked if she would represent us and my friend Rev. Troy Perry and his husband Phillip DeBleck—they had married in Canada. Gloria agreed to sue the County of Los Angeles to allow Diane and I to get married and also, in that suit, sue the county to recognize Troy and Phillips Canadian marriage.”

Scene 2 – The Supremes

“We announced the lawsuit on Feb. 12, 2004, at 9 AM in front of the Beverly Hills Courthouse,” continued Robin. “The press carried the story all morning. We did not know that at noon, San Francisco Gavin Newsome would marry our friends, Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon. So, the radical right filed a lawsuit to annul the subsequent same-sex marriages in San Francisco.”

“Meanwhile, on Feb. 24, 2004 we proceeded to file the first lawsuit in California for marriage equality,” Robin added. “When the Supreme Court struck down the San Francisco marriages, the City of San Francisco, LAMBDA, ACLU, and NCLR subsequently filed a lawsuit after ours, to represent couples from that county. All of the lawsuits were consolidated into one case, with Allred still representing the couples in Los Angeles, and the organizations representing the couples—many of whom we are friends with—in San Francisco.”

“The cases were argued in Superior Court in San Francisco, where we won. A Republican, Catholic judge ruled in our favor,” exclaimed Robin. “Meanwhile, the California legislature passed a bill for same-sex marriage, but Governor Schwarzenegger refused to sign it. We lost 2-1 at the Court of Appeals. But, in Dec. 2006, the California Supreme Court decided to hear the case, thus nullifying the negative decision of the Court of Appeals.”

Scene 3 – Why Gay Marriage?

“We met decades ago,” explained Robin about she and Diane, “and were friends for over 25 years before we became a couple. Diane’s grandfather, Culbert Levy Olson, was the first Democratic Governor of California (1938.) He was progressive, and ran on the platform of separation of church and state. So, Diane and I definitely have politics in common.”

“I think I am too old and past my prime to wear white,” joked Robin about her possible wedding. “Also, I don’t need a Tupperware shower. Seriously, at first, I wanted to get married to get the AFTRA health benefits. A few months ago, they changed their rules and now, if a member is qualified and in a same sex relationship, the health benefits are extended to the partner. Also, here in California, under ‘domestic partnership’, the house can be passed on to a domestic partner without property tax reassessment. But, domestic partnership does not offer us the over 1,000 benefits that the civil contract, referred to as marriage, offers us. Until we have federal rights under this civil contract, we do not have equal protection under the law.”

“How many lesbian & gay couples whose partners are from other countries, have had to split up, because the partner cannot marry and enter the United States permanently,” asked Robin. “Our love is not worth any less then heterosexual couples. We should not have to settle for marriage apartheid, which is separate, and definitely not equal under the law.”

In further support of same-sex marriage, Robin stressed, “First and foremost, we are a civil rights movement, and equality is a civil rights issue. Many LGBT people think that this issue has set ‘gay rights’ back. Not true. Since 1979 when we did the first gay rights on Washington—we still do not have one civil right on a federal level. Not the right to work, the right to keep our children, not one right! This issue has propelled us to the front pages, and we are being finally being seen as a movement about the right to love, rather then ‘sexual preference.’”

“Yes, there have been setbacks,” explained Robin, “and illegal state constitutional amendments say marriage is between one man and one woman. But the last polls showed that 65% of young people ages 18-24 believe that same-sex couples should have the right to get married. And so, we are loosing some battles, but winning the war. And, as for gays who don’t believe in same-sex marriage, they shouldn’t get married. But don’t tell the rest of us that we do not have a right to demand full equality. Marriage is the only civil contract recognized by the federal government, and those of us willing to take on the responsibility, should receive the rights.”

“If a woman is married to a man for 10 years, she is entitled to one-half his social security payments when he passes away. If the man has married four different women for ten years, all four are entitled to one-half. If I were to die today, Diane, who has been in a partner relationship with me for almost 14 years, would get nothing,” Robin emphasized.

In Robin’s show, she states, “We want marriage equality, that’s the front of the bus. The Democrats want us to have civil unions, or domestic partnership. That’s the back of the bus. The Republicans want us off the bus. And the radical religious right wants us under the bus.”

Scene 4 – Take it to the Streets

“Keep suing,” responded Robin, about how the community can advance the Freedom to Marry effort. “Keep the courts tied up. And where we lose, take to the streets and protest. Brown vs. Board of education was not implemented right after the Supreme Court ruled on integrating the schools. It took a 15 year struggle on the streets to finally get the schools integrated. Being angry on the web is not enough. We need to get out there. And we need to stop supporting Democrats—and I was a major donor to Bill Clinton’s campaign, I am sorry to admit—who do not support full equal rights for LGBT people.”

According to Robin, “The only organization in the country that will not support a presidential candidate who does not support marriage equality is the National Organization for Women. None of the gay organizations have this policy,” she emphasized. “The excuse is that this ‘issue’ will loose the Democrats the elections. But, choice is equally as divisive, and none of them back down from that issue. Until our LGBT ‘leaders’ stop acquiescing to Democratic politics, and the ‘blame’ game, we will never get our rights. I left Canada forty years ago, because the perception was that gays in the United States were so far ahead of the world. Look at us now. We should be marching on Washington, and mobilizing. Instead, we are attending $200 dinner parties and raising money for the LGBT Industry.”

Robin has been walking her talk for decades. In recent years, she was one of the founders of stopdrlaura.com, the group that was successful in stopping Laura Schlessinger’s television show. Robin was also a producer of GLBT Marches on Washington in 1979, 1986 and 1993, and she has called for another March on Washington in 2008 “to make sure that the Democratic Party does not sell us out, as they have after every election,” she stated.

Robin, who was arguably the first out lesbian or gay comic on television, in albums and in live performance, commented on the proliferation of GLBT media and networks today.

“I think its terrific,” expressed Robin. “On one hand, we have Rosie and Ellen and Melissa and Brokeback Mountain and LOGO television and all kinds of media exposure. And yet, we do not have one civil right on a Federal level. So, it is a two-edged sword. The next generation is getting to know us because so many of us refuse to hide, but a lot of our community mistakes visibility with civil rights. Can you image if any other minority had their own television channel, records, talk show, but no civil rights?”

Scene 5 – The Role Model’s Role Models

“PT Barnum was a role model,” expressed Robin, “because he was 65 and broke when he got together with Bailey to form the ‘Greatest Show on Earth,’ the three ring circus. So, age didn’t stop him. Mike Todd was a hero because when he wanted to fill Madison Square Garden with a birthday cake to give to Elizabeth Taylor, everyone told him ‘it couldn’t be done.’ But, he did it anyway. Bella Abzug is a hero, because she continued to organize, even from her hospital bed, until she died. I like guts, courage, vision, and talent.”

I asked Robin, “Who among the younger or newly famous set (last ten years) do you admire and why?”

“The Rosie for kicking the ass of The Donald—she was late coming out, but when she did, it was a tornado, and I really like her politics with regard to gay rights," shared Robin. “Remember, to me the younger set is anyone under fifty.”

Robin predicts that “not one top level candidate will come out for marriage equality” in the current U.S. presidential campaign. Years ago, when I interviewed Robin on my television show, I asked Robin to look into the camera and speak to the audience about the importance of coming out. In this interview, I asked, what do you most want to express about anything at all, right now at this moment?”

“We are now facing some of the most daunting challenges in the history of the world. We are in the middle of the ‘holy wars’ and are in danger of nuclear holocaust. Al Gore tells us that if we don’t do something about global warming, it will be irreversible in ten years. So, because the problems are so huge, and the media barrages us with them continuously, people believe either it is too late to instigate change, or they are powerless to do so. Well, it is not too late. Passion is much better then Prozac. In the 70’s, the gay community danced their way to isolation through a disco beat. Now, there is an epidemic of drugs and unsafe sex. HIV is on the rise. Gay Pride means self-esteem. We can do something, for this country, and for the world. But the first step is to do something for ourselves.”

Robin is making a documentary about her one-woman show, and as a sober woman, she is co-executive producing a documentary on Crystal Meth in the gay community. Since 1990, Robin has operated a five star international tour and cruise company empowering lesbians to travel the globe. This year they are going to Kenya, cruising down the Nile, to Jordan and to Israel. “I love animals, culture and adventure, so this was the way to go.”

For reservations and ticket information for Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Groom, visit RobinTyler.com, or call (818) 893-4075. The show will be staged February 10th, 17th and 18th, at the ACME Comedy Theatre in Los Angeles.

That’s a wrap!